yellow plague

Last Thursday when I got home from work there was a yellow sack occupying a prominent position on my front porch. The sack contained the much unappreciated "yellow book" yellowpages. In the past I have used this book for a variety of thing including composting. One year I just left it in the yellow plastic sack all year and used it as a knee pad in the garden. As my daughter got older I had to explain to her that throwing away the old phone book was not acceptable when the ugly yellow book arrived each year. I even took to writing in large block letters across the front of the old AT&T book "Mom's phone book, do not pitch on penalty of reprisal." You see I refuse to use the yellow book. So this year when I saw it on the porch I did not even take it into the house but took it around the side yard to the trash. I pitched it out by the garbage can still wrapped in its bright yellow wrapper. I went on to mow the back yard. When evening fell and I was turning on the porch lights, the yellow book had somehow managed to once again make porch status but this time on the kitchen porch. A neighbor I'm sure. Back to the garbage it went. Finally Monday rolled around, which was my next trash pickup day. I thought surely I would be rid of it.

Monday morning I take my shower as usual. I hear the dogs making their regular garbage man noise and think finally it will get picked up. I open the kitchen door to leave for work and there it is again. The garbage man has kindly placed it on my porch for me. The book finally makes it into the house, at least for the day. Monday evening I arrive home with a mission. I find the address of the "yellow book's" publisher in the AT&T phonebook. Oh my god! They are located almost across the street from where I work! Guess where I will be headed on Tuesday morning.

Tuesday, with the package in the car, still wrapped in its yellow wrapper. I have written across the sack with sharpie: Not AT&T.....Refused. I speed through their parking lot and drop it in front of their door. I did notice on the way in that most of my neighbors had still not bothered to even move their yellow packages. I wonder if I should set up a collection site? Nah.